As an introvert, I don't know why, but just seeing other people being loud like their chatter, the atmosphere, even just the number of people makes me feel tired. Like my battery drops from 100% to 0% instantly.

Why is that?

Before I dive deeper, I want to say that these past few days I've been thinking about how different everyone's life really is. But that doesn't mean we should look down on each other. We still have to respect each other, as long as we don't disturb each other's flow of life. 😊

Actually, it's all just about perspective.

As an introvert, I like things that are functional, efficient, calm, and peaceful. Even as I get older, a small sound feels like a massive speaker system, especially when it's multiple sounds overlapping. Like when the neighbor is renovating, someone is watching TV, and other noises all at once, it feels like WHOA. So that's actually one of my biggest challenges as a remote worker who needs deep concentration at home. But Alhamdulillah, so far I can handle it well.

Also, as an introvert, our energy drains so fast when we do things outside the house. That's why I love being at home, in my room that feels comfortable even though it's not aesthetic at all. In my room I can work, write what's in my heart, map out my thoughts, etc. It just feels peaceful.

As an introvert, I also prefer to have fewer connections, but deeper ones. Raw, honest, nothing hidden. Real in front and behind, because that's how I am too.

Having such a simple life might look boring to extroverts who recharge by going out, meeting a lot of people, and traveling.

And that's okay, because we just recharge differently.

Honestly, when my older extrovert sister comes back to our hometown, a day or two later she always asks me to go out, to a waterfall or somewhere. Honestly, I'm happy on the way, I can breathe fresh air outside, but somehow I can't hear the voice inside my head at that moment. So it's like happy but empty. You know what I mean?

Now I'm thinking, does that mean extroverts feel empty when they're alone? And introverts feel full when they're alone?

Honestly, I think our character as a child is really a combination of both our parents.

If I talk about my father and mother, they are so different, but Alhamdulillah their marriage has lasted until now. They are already old and still have conflicts, but it's just about different principles. My father is quite loose, he sees the world as gray. My mother is the opposite, she sees it as black-and-white.

My father is an extrovert. His energy is full when he is around many people, but if he's really tired, he just sleeps.

In my opinion, he's flexible about life principles, not idealistic but quite realistic. He works according to his ability for the family and is responsible as the head of the family.

I often feel so lonely when he has to go out, staying over at my grandma's house or somewhere else, the house feels so empty. That's him.

My mother is an introvert. She doesn't like meeting many people. That's why now when there's a wedding invitation far from our village, I'm the one who goes to represent the family, even though I'm an introvert myself. 😭😆 But it's okay, at least I get free SOTO, haha. In this growing phase, what wouldn't I eat? 🤭

The opposite of my father who is loud and loves to over-share, my mother is mostly at home. She doesn't like meeting many people unless necessary. She holds high idealism, black and white, no gray area. If yes, say yes. If no, say no. She conserves energy by sleeping, just chatting with me or doing anything by her own.

Well, I think my character is a combination of both. I over-share a lot, for example on this blog (even though it's wrapped in storytelling, all my writings are still over-sharing 😬).

I think I got that talent from my father, just in a different way. If he likes to talk, I do it through writing.

It's totally different in real life, I follow my mother 100% when it comes to saving energy. Rather than being seen in a crowd, I'd rather not be seen at all because it's comfortable, free, and safe. That's why in real life I prefer to stay at home. You can count how many times I go out in a year, because honestly, being in a crowd instantly drains my energy. I prefer to be at home even if I look like a beggar. 🤫😆 Because it's super duper comfortable.

Then I think, why can my parents be so different but still last? Maybe because they complement each other? If both were extroverts, there would be no peace. If both were introverts, there would be no life.