On this blessed holiday of Isra’ and Mi‘raj, I would like to share an experience, simple on the surface, yet meaningful in reflection about being mocked and misunderstood by people who do not truly know me. To be clear from the beginning, I am not the type of person who lives based on other people’s opinions. I was not born to impress anyone, and my worth has never depended on external validation. Still, today I choose to share this as a reflection. As someone who seeks meaning in life, I believe every lived experience carries wisdom, and wisdom is worth sharing. 😅
Alright, let’s begin.
Two days ago, as usual, my mother and I went to a small neighborhood mini grocery store owned by our neighbor. We went there to buy simple kitchen necessities: garlic, onions, flour, and other everyday items. Nothing special, nothing luxurious; just the basic things needed to keep a household running. It was an ordinary moment, one of those routines that feel invisible because they are so familiar.
Every time we go there, I sometimes buy ice cream. Just one. It costs 2,000 Indonesian rupiah per piece, and that is honestly more than enough for me. 😅
I genuinely feel satisfied with it. It refreshes me, makes me happy, and I don’t feel the need to buy more. I truly believe that excess removes meaning from enjoyment. In Islam, moderation is deeply emphasized. The Prophet Muhammad (PUBH) reminded us:
“Eat, drink, give charity, and wear clothes, but do not be excessive and do not be arrogant.” (Narrated by Ahmad)
Everything excessive loses its blessing. Balance, on the other hand, brings peace.
Suddenly, a woman who is also my neighbor came over and commented on my choice. She said, “A 2,000-rupiah ice cream is too cheap and too easy to buy. Why don’t you buy the more expensive ones?”
I smiled and replied lightly, trying to keep the situation pleasant:
“A small body needs a small ice cream.” 😁
But deep inside, my heart whispered something else entirely:
“Why are you trying to control my choice? Why are you interfering? As long as I am happy and satisfied, why does it matter?”😒
Then she added another comment, “Adjust your body or your budget.”
Whoa! That audacity. 😬
If punching someone in the face were legal, I might have done it. Haha. But of course, that would not be classy at all. Hehe. 😎 So I chose silence. I stopped responding. Sometimes, silence is the most elegant boundary.
After that incident, because I love psychology and self-reflection, I began thinking deeply about what had happened. I even looked up research not to analyze her as a person, but to understand why someone would think and speak that way.
According to Brené Brown in her book Daring Greatly (2012), people often project their insecurities onto others as a way to protect their own sense of worth. When individuals feel uncomfortable with their own choices, they unconsciously criticize or question people who live differently. This projection helps them justify their own lifestyle and silence their inner doubts.
This explanation resonated deeply with me.
Many people unconsciously judge others based on outward appearances; what they buy, how much they spend, the brands they wear, and the lifestyle they display. Even when their lives are already sufficient, they feel the need to normalize excess. Spending more becomes a symbol of success, happiness, and social acceptance. So when they encounter someone who feels genuinely enough with simplicity, it feels strange even threatening.
For such people, “enough” often means visible proof: showing off, upgrading, consuming more. Modesty, on the other hand, is subconsciously associated with lack. So when they meet someone who is modest yet content, who feels fulfilled without excess, it challenges their worldview. It does not fit into their definition of success.
What they do not know is this: consumerism and capitalism have always been my greatest enemies. (Rebel mode. ☕) When others feel joy from buying expensive things, I feel the opposite. I'd feel uncomfortable, even disappointed in myself, if I fell into consumerist traps (I haven't done it and please don't Ratih, hehe). Buying things strictly according to my needs not my ego or social pressure has always been my number one life principle. And no one has the authority to disturb that. 😎☕
Coincidentally, not long after that encounter, a video appeared on my social media feed. It discussed how people often value others solely based on visible indicators: job titles, branded possessions, social status, and positions. Watching that video felt like confirmation. Being misunderstood as someone “lacking” when you actually feel deeply “enough” is a different level of experience. 🤭
Because the truth is, God does not see humans through visible things.
Allah does not measure us by our purchases, our clothes, or our social image. He looks at what is invisible: faith, devotion, sincerity, and good deeds. As Allah says in the Qur’an:
“O mankind, indeed We have created you from a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes so that you may know one another. Indeed, the most honorable of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you.” (Qur’an 49:13)
Not the richest.
Not the most impressive.
But the most righteous.
Let me share a little about my life principle. I truly started everything from zero (I believe most of people did the same so my experience isn't special.) Alhamdulillah, Allah made many things easier along the way but that does not mean I must transform into a consumerist person just to prove that I am enough. From the beginning, my prayer has always been the same: in any condition, let me remain myself. And alhamdulillah, that prayer has been answered.
Living authentically without pride, without social pressure, without craving recognition brings an extraordinary kind of happiness. You become free. You focus on yourself, on the people you love, and on what truly matters. External judgments are not real; they are illusions. What is real is inner sufficiency. What is real is ensuring that you feel enough, your loved ones feel enough, your family lives in harmony, and blessings continue to flow.
So to anyone who is still struggling: do not give up. But when you finally succeed, do not change yourself just to prove that you have succeeded. Stay grateful. Stay simple. Be authentic, even if your lifestyle looks modest in the eyes of others, it does not matter as long as your life is peaceful, sufficient, and blessed. 🙌
I will close with this reminder from the Qur’an:
“So truly, with hardship comes ease. Truly, with hardship comes ease.” (Qur’an 94:5–6)
May we always remain people who feel enough, live sincerely, and walk humbly no matter how the world chooses to judge us. 🤍🤗