Happy Saturday Night!

Does anyone here want to go out this evening to enjoy their time? Me? No, unfortunately. It’s because one of my flip-flops is broken. 🤫😂 (I’m kidding.)

Actually, I’d like to talk about trauma tonight. I don’t know why, but these days I’m very interested in trauma, almost like I’m a psychologist, whereas I’m probably more qualified to be the patient. 💀 (I’m kidding again. 😅) I’ve experienced many traumatic things in my life, but I believe many people have too, right?

Trauma is something very human. It doesn’t choose age, gender, or background. It can come from relationships, family, friendships, betrayal, loss, or even situations we never asked to witness. What matters is not only what happened, but how we respond afterward.

When people experience trauma, there are generally two common psychological outcomes. One is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and the other is Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). They are different, and one is not morally better than the other. They are simply different responses.

So, let’s unpack them one by one.

1. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

PTSD is a psychological condition that can develop after someone experiences or witnesses a deeply distressing or life-altering event. Trauma overwhelms the nervous system, and instead of being processed and stored as a memory, it keeps replaying as if it’s still happening.

In PTSD, the body and mind are often stuck in survival mode. The danger has passed, but the brain doesn’t believe it yet.

Common signs of PTSD include:

* Flashbacks or intrusive memories about the traumatic event
* Nightmares or trouble sleeping
* Constant anxiety (always feeling on edge)
* Avoiding people, places, or situations that remind you of the trauma
* Emotional numbness or feeling disconnected from yourself and others
* Sudden anger, irritability, or emotional outbursts
* Low self-worth and constant self-blame

PTSD is not weakness. It is the nervous system trying to protect itself after being overwhelmed. Many people live with PTSD silently while still functioning, smiling, and showing up every day.

2. Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG)

Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) refers to positive psychological changes that can occur after struggling with trauma. It does not mean the trauma was good, nor does it mean the pain disappears. It means that through reflection, acceptance, and coping, a person may experience growth in certain areas of life.

PTG often develops slowly. It’s not instant motivation or toxic positivity. It’s something that emerges after pain is acknowledged and processed.

Common signs of PTG include:

* A deeper understanding of oneself
* Increased emotional strength and resilience
* Clearer life priorities and values
* Greater appreciation for life
* Healthier boundaries in relationships
* Desire to learn, grow, and improve oneself
* More empathy and compassion toward others

PTG doesn’t erase trauma. It grows around it. 🤍

Now that you know the difference between PTSD and PTG, I want to share a bit of my own experience.

I’ve experienced trauma, and most of it was related to broken trust. Instead of blaming the people who broke it, I eventually chose acceptance, although I denied it at first. Denial was easier. Acceptance was painful. But over time, I chose to grow and become a stronger, better person (or at least, that’s my hope).

One of my traumatic experiences happened when I saw something hurtful that I should never have seen. But the universe, for some reason, gave me a sign, and yes, I finally saw it. 🙃

Right after that moment, I lost my appetite. But worse than that, I lost my confidence. I felt like I was nothing, just a person full of weaknesses. I couldn’t cry at that time, but my chest felt like it was about to explode. Maybe being hurt is an art, and 'art is an explosion' as Deidara said.🔥😅

To cope, I started with something simple. I took time to meditate and calm myself down. I prayed, spiritually asking for strength, asking to stay alive, and asking to bring back my real self. I didn’t want to disappear. I wanted to survive.

Little by little, I accepted what happened in my life. I stopped denying it. I stopped arguing with reality. And that moment became the turning point.

That was when I slowly brought back my motivation to grow. This is what we call Post-Traumatic Growth, as mentioned earlier. I tried to grow by learning new things, joining positive programs, joking with my cousins about daily life, making memes, laughing at small things, and doing anything that felt good and healthy. 🙌

If you ask why I chose post-traumatic growth instead of being depressed all the time, the answer is simple. God didn’t create me to be sad and depressed forever. (What a confidence, haha 😎.) As someone who loves joking and laughing, it would be strange if I stayed sad all the time, right? 😬 That’s why I chose to grow after being hurt.

I didn’t choose revenge, either. Why? Because this world itself is already a place of trial. In Islam, the world is described as a place of consequence after Prophet Adam ate the forbidden fruit. Pain exists. Humans hurt and get hurt. It’s part of the design.

Life is like driving on the road. You may drive carefully, but sometimes you meet another driver who drives carelessly. You didn’t cause the accident, but you still feel the impact. That’s life.

No matter how painful it was, I always try to see the lesson, the blessing, and the good things hidden beneath the pain.

Honestly, whenever depression hits and painful memories come back, I just want to be a worm, a cat, or a bird, living simply by instinct, worrying only about survival. But again and again, I’m grateful to be born as a human, a woman who experiences many complex and meaningful things in this world.

In the end, I’d like to share an insight for anyone who might be in a similar situation. If you're getting hurt, please don’t isolate yourself completely. Try to keep doing good things. Explore hobbies, enjoy culinary adventures, exercise, create art, laugh, rest, and live. Healing doesn’t mean pretending you’re okay. It means choosing life again and again.

Trauma may shape you, but it doesn’t get to define the end of your story. 😊