Today, I experienced something deeply distressing that I feel compelled to share despite the lateness of the hour. It's a story of regret and self-blame that weighs heavily on my heart.
Earlier, an old friend messaged me, expressing her desire to visit my house around 3 pm to enjoy some rambutans from the trees in my backyard. She loves them dearly but doesn't have access to them herself. Normally, we would pick the fruit together when she arrived, but this time, an inexplicable urge prompted me to gather some beforehand. It was a decision I would come to regret profoundly.
I asked my brother to help harvest the rambutans, something he usually did with a bamboo pole to avoid climbing the tree. However, today, perhaps due to my casual instruction, he decided to climb the tree directly and I was in the same location to pick them up.
In a cruel twist of fate, the branch he climbed on gave way, and he fell right in front of me. 🥲 The sight of him crashing down and the sound of his impact haunt me still. The guilt consumes me because I inadvertently put him in harm's way.
I rushed to his side in a panic, fearing the worst as he struggled to catch his breath. I screamed for our mother, who quickly came to his aid along with concerned neighbors who heard my cries. Together, we managed to bring him indoors and I did what little I could, offering water, warm tea, and painkillers to ease his injuries.
The weight of guilt sits heavy on my chest. If only I hadn't suggested picking the rambutans early, perhaps this wouldn't have happened. The pain of seeing someone I love injured because of my carelessness is unbearable.
Tears flow freely as I apologize profusely to my brother, whose kindness in the face of pain only intensifies my remorse. He reassures me that it was no one's fault, urging me not to blame myself. But his words, meant to console, only amplify my anguish. 🥺
The incident has left me shaken and fearful. The mere thought of heights now sends shivers down my spine, triggering memories of that dreadful moment. Writing this brings me a small measure of solace, a way to release some of the burden that weighs so heavily upon me.
To anyone reading this, I implore you to cherish every moment with your loved ones. Take nothing for granted, not even a seemingly innocuous task like picking fruit.
Life can change in an instant, leaving behind scars that run deeper than physical wounds. May my story serve as a reminder to tread carefully in our actions and words, for they hold the power to cause unintended harm.
As I go through this profound regret, I vow to be more mindful and more attentive to the consequences of my actions. And to my dear brother, whose forgiveness exceeds my own, I pledge to carry this lesson forward with humility and gratitude for his enduring grace. 🤍🤍
