Why Do I Value Genuine and Raw Qualities Over Polished Perfection?
Perhaps this perspective sounds a little unusual, but I’d like to share a deeply personal thought—one that may, in part, explain why I often feel disconnected from the outer world. It stems from how I view humanity and relationships, and why I seek depth over surface-level perfection.
I see human beings as oceans. We have layers, from surface to depth. And instead of being a surfer, I choose to be a diver.
This might sound cryptic at first, but let me explain.
Think about the ocean: its surface is vibrant, full of movement, waves, and reflections. It’s what we immediately see, and for many, this is enough. But beneath the surface lies a vast and mysterious world—calm in some places, turbulent in others, teeming with life and complexity. The deeper you go, the more you uncover.
To me, human beings are much like this. On the surface, we have what we show to the world: appearances, curated personalities, and polished versions of ourselves.
This is the layer that most people interact with—the part that seems perfect or “put-together.” But beneath this lies our true essence: our raw thoughts, imperfections, vulnerabilities, and authentic selves.
While many people seem content to “surf” along the surface, engaging only with the polished layers of others, I find myself drawn to the depths. I don’t want to stay where it’s safe and easy. I want to dive deep, to understand what lies beneath—the raw and unfiltered reality of who someone truly is.
Polished perfection often feels hollow to me. It’s an illusion, a façade that hides the richness of a person’s inner world. When we focus solely on the surface, we miss out on the intricate layers of humanity: the struggles that shaped a person, their unspoken dreams, their fears, and their unpolished truths.
Rawness, on the other hand, is real. It’s honest, vulnerable, and beautifully imperfect. When someone shares their unfiltered thoughts or reveals a side of themselves that isn’t polished for public consumption, it feels genuine. That authenticity is where true connection happens.
Perfection can be intimidating—it creates distance. But rawness is relatable. It reminds us that we’re all human, that we all have flaws, and that it’s okay to embrace them.
Being a “diver” means I seek out these raw and unguarded layers in people. It’s not always easy. Diving requires effort, patience, and a willingness to navigate uncertainty. It means asking questions that go beyond small talk, listening deeply, and being present for someone’s truth, even when it’s messy or uncomfortable.
But this choice also comes with challenges. Not everyone is ready to show their depths, and not everyone values this kind of connection.
In a world where polished appearances are often celebrated, choosing rawness over perfection can feel isolating. It sets me apart from the crowd and leaves me on the fringes of a society that often prioritizes surfaces over substance.
Admittedly, this perspective can sometimes feel lonely. When most people are content surfing through life, diving deeper can feel like swimming against the tide. There are times when I wonder if I’m asking for too much or if I’m too intense in a world that often prefers light, casual interactions.
Yet, I can’t shake this belief. There’s something profoundly beautiful about connecting with someone at their core, about seeing the unvarnished truth of who they are. For me, that connection is worth the effort and occasional loneliness it brings.
A Call to Dive Deeper...
I don’t expect everyone to share this view. But I do believe the world could benefit from a little more diving and a little less surfing. What if we took the time to truly understand the people around us? What if we celebrated rawness and imperfection instead of demanding polished perfection?
In the end, being human isn’t about being flawless. It’s about being real. And the more we embrace that, the richer our connections—and our lives—will become. So, the next time you find yourself on the surface of someone’s “ocean,” consider diving a little deeper. You might just discover something extraordinary.
